Thriving When You're Different

Have you ever felt different? The funny thing is I think more people have felt different from others than not, so why do we all feel so different from everyone else? I have always felt different from everyone else or misunderstood. I never had  a lot of friends growing up. I knew a lot of people and got invited to things but I never felt like anyone really knew me. I can easily recall many nights especially in Junior High (I consider Junior High 6-8 grade) where I laid in bed and cried and prayed for a friend. Just one friend I could share my heart with. This could be partially due to the fact that I have always marched to the beat of my own drum. I really wanted people to like me and was definitely a people-pleaser, especially when it came to adults, but I quickly realized that you can never make everyone happy. Therefore, I always tried to do the right thing and tried not to concern myself too much with what people said about me. I got made fun of a lot and learned not to put too much weight on what people said, but I also learned not to let many people in, hence the fact that I would be perceived as being extremely quiet. I developed generalized anxiety disorder and started counseling for that when I was 15. I was literally told at counseling that I had to make friends and not just any friends, friends I could open up to. I have learned not to let what people say bother me too much. That being said it still hurts. It hurts when people say mean things about me, it hurts when people are not supportive of me and it hurts when people think I'm crazy for being different even though I think I'm crazy too. For me it has gotten better as I have gotten older. I have more friends now, and several I can open up to regularly. I have identified my strengths even among my weaknesses but it's still hard. I have literally thought about starting a blog for years. When I finally started "Kenzie Aspires to Inspire" I was scared. Scared of what people would think about me, scared of what people would say about me and scared to open up. I am not an abrasive person, I am very opinionated but tend to keep my opinions to myself unless it is something I am very passionate about, or I am around people I am very comfortable with. I certainly do not publish them and post them to the internet for everyone to see and critique. I have even avoided telling people about future plans I have and really avoid telling people about my life because being shot down all of the time gets exhausting. However, I am a very real person and am always honest about my opinions when I feel the need to discuss them. I knew if I was going to start a blog, I was going to have to be 100% honest and real. I would have to open my heart and let people in just a little bit. That is really scary and hard for me. I have been really nervous to post certain things to my blog and legitimately stressed about it. Pretty much only my friends and family read my blog but those closest to us can sometimes be our biggest critics. I have gotten some backlash for being different, thankfully not much, but I have been surprised at the overwhelming amount of love and support I have received from opening my heart, if only just a little bit. I have always been different, "weird" (whatever that even means) my whole life and I think I always will be. I am okay with that now and can even thrive while being different. I thrive not in spite of my differences, but sometimes on my differences. Part of my kind of different is having a lot of strange and different kinds of experiences. I can use these experiences to connect with others. I am not saying disregard 100% what everyone says. In fact I'm sure we all know those people that "don't care" what other people think and probably should. I'm saying pick a few wise people that love you and will be honest with you. Pray about your decisions and ask these people for advice. Find a few people that know who you really are and accept you but push you to become better without being pushy and embrace your beautiful differences :)
LOVE,
KENZIE

Have the Confidence to Achieve

"Self-confidence is the memory of success." 

-David Storey 

Do you believe in yourself? The truth is a lot of people don't. Why don't most people raise their hands in class when it's obvious everyone knows the answer? Why do some children insist on having training wheels on their bikes a year or two after they could probably ride their bikes without them? It all comes down to self-confidence. Unfortunately this isn't something you just acquire as you age. Confidence has to be built. The danger of not having confidence in yourself is if you don't have confidence in yourself, most people will not have confidence in you. When I was in high school, I didn't have a lot of self-confidence, especially Sophomore and Junior year. I was not particularly insecure or anything, I just never thought much of myself. I was pretty average in my opinion. I wasn't noticed much by others, in fact I found out during my Junior year that a lot of the guys I knew and two that I talked to regularly thought I was an 8th grader or Freshman. This would be understandable considering that I look very young for my age except for the fact that I sang on stage at youth group nearly every week since 7th grade and all of the guys went to that same youth group and 2 were also on the worship team. I was pretty quiet and unremarkable except for later finding out that most of the kids regarded me as being exceptionally nice. I was the person who tried desperately to keep my head down and go unnoticed yet desperately hoped to be noticed. Confusing, I know. I didn't want to try anything because I was terrified of being wrong or failing. Thankfully, I met a guy right before Sophomore year of high school. He basically became my best friend throughout Sophomore and Junior year. I have some health issues that I won't get into in this post but they started  during my Sophomore year of high school. On top of already not being a very confident person my confidence really took a blow. There was suddenly a lot of things I couldn't do and performing mundane tasks became difficult. For some reason though this friend of mine always believed in me. Always. I never knew why. Whenever I wanted to do something he strongly encouraged me to do it and 100% believed I could. I honestly thought about telling him not to bother believing in me so much because he would just be disappointed. Then I was trying to make a team. I tried so hard and gave it all I had but I didn't make the team. I was devastated. He was not. More than that it never shook his confidence in me and he fully supported me in all of my other endeavors. It was bizarre. But why am I even telling you this? Because if you are courageous enough to dare to dream then you must have the confidence to achieve. Many people dream of all the wonderful things they could do and have marvelous ideas. However, they never do anything with them. This always flabbergasted me. Why do all of these brilliant people never do anything with their brilliant ideas? Of course there are the usual excuses; time, money, energy, etc. Then one day it hit me. These people don't have the confidence to achieve. They don't think they can do it. The funny thing I have realized about confidence is the only way to gain more confidence is to do more hard things. In order to do hard things, you have to have confidence. What I realized was when I started doing more things, it was like the whole world opened up to me. I had been selling myself very short for a very long time. There will always be people that don't believe you, the key is to believe in yourself. If you are going to dare to dream then you must also have the confidence to achieve but if you do, you will most likely find that there are many more opportunities than you ever could have imagined. 

LOVE,

KENZIE

Dare to Dream

What is the first question we typically ask high school students? "What college do you want to go to?" Why do we ask that question? It is just what everyone asks. It is what is expected of them. It is what is done. You go to school for 12 years, graduate and go to college for a minimum of 4 years. The goal is to get a 9-5 job that you don't hate where you make a good amount of money. Now don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with college, I have taken college classes. College is the only way to obtain certain jobs and is very beneficial in many ways, but why is it just what is expected? Why is everyone who doesn't follow this one-size-fits-all-plan crazy? As children we are encouraged to dream. We are told that we can be anything we want to be, do anything we set our minds to. We live in America, the land of opportunity. However, we are afraid to dream. Therefore, we are expected to follow the tried and true methods for success. But what does this result in? Everyone is doing the same thing. So now the requirements have to be upped. The pool of opportunity is getting smaller, yet if you do anything different you are the crazy one. As a result, so much talent goes to waste. Everyone is afraid. The people that do go to college tend to do the same general things that are steady and safe. Of course this is smart to a degree but what happens when there are too many people for the same "safe" job? The employers become even more selective. Yet still we are taught about job security from a young age. I remember job security being discussed with me when I was only 14 years old. If anyone makes a good living and is successful but did things differently we are told they are rare. They are a minority. After all, if they did things differently, their life was probably very hard for a long time before their success.This deters everyone else from trying, even young people that have their whole lives ahead of them. They are afraid. America was founded on a dream. A very courageous dream that cost many people their lives. Sometimes dreams come at a price. You may have to become uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. Many people died on the Mayflower, and then during the first year in America. Even more people died during the Revolutionary War. I'm sure everyone in England thought they were crazy, I'm sure they even thought they were crazy. But guess what? THEY WON! They won the war and America became one of the wealthiest countries in the world with citizens that have freedom. So much freedom. Freedom to choose how to live their lives, freedom to choose how to worship. I am thankful everyday for their sacrifices and their willingness to be considered crazy, to be uncomfortable and to die so I can have a better life. My great great grandmother came here from Serbia. She came here and was poor and married a man roughly 10 years older than her that she had never met. She never learned English and I don't know much about her because my grandma couldn't communicate with her. She was poor and probably lonely and misunderstood her whole life. I am thankful everyday that she had the courage to dream, that she was willing to be uncomfortable for me even though I never met her. Because of her I get to grow up in America. The whole world is at my fingertips. I am young and free and can do anything I want with my life. I am smart and talented and I will not waste that. I won't throw away my opportunities. I won't let fear control me. I am not afraid to be uncomfortable, to be called crazy, to be different. I have been different my whole life. I am not going to let society put me in a box or force me to be average and just do what everyone else does. I am not going to take the easy way out. I am going to be exceptional all because I had the courage to dream. If something seems impossible it is simply because your dreams are not big enough. I am daring to dream. Are you?

Thriving When You're Waiting

I was reading the book, "The Princess and the Kiss" last night. For those of you who know about that book yes, it is a children's book. It has been my favorite book for as long as I can remember. When I was little I checked it out of the church library as often as I could. It was one of the first books I ever read when I learned to read, if not the first. When I was around the age of ten my mom bought it for me and it still sits on my bookshelf and I still read it periodically. The intention of the book is to teach little girls about purity and the princess is advised to only give her kiss to the man she will marry. Throughout the book many suitors come to call but the wise princess knows none of them are worthy of her kiss. She becomes discouraged, wondering if she will ever find a man worthy of her kiss. However, she refuses to settle and eventually meets her prince who is actually just a kind peasant when he meets her. Maybe it sounds corny but I just think it is such a sweet book. I don't know what made me read it last night but I did and it struck me with a new meaning. I always just took the book at face value, save yourself for marriage, wait for your prince and he will come, don't settle, etc. However, I have been focusing on and thinking about thriving lately. The whole reason I created this blog is to inspire others to thrive wherever they are in life, even if it's not where everyone else is, even if it's not where you want to be and that is exactly what the princess in this story does. She doesn't just survive and she is not locked in a tower just waiting for something that may or may not ever happen and that almost entirely depends on another person. She thrives. Of course she gets discouraged just like anyone else because she wants to be married but then she decides to focus on what she does have. I think this applies to all areas in life, not just relationships. Today I just want to encourage you to not focus on what you don't have and where you're not at and to take a moment and celebrate what you do have and where you are. After all, there was a time when you dreamed about getting to where you are today. Take a deep breath, look around, and count your blessings.

LOVE,
KENZIE