Why I don't have a Boyfriend

"What are you and your date doing for Prom?"
"Actually, I don't have a date, I'm going with a group of friends."
"Oh I'm sorry."

Why, why are you sorry? I'm not sorry. This was how most of the conversations surrounding my Senior Prom and Homecoming dance went. No one was excited that I was going with a huge group of my best friends to Prom, in fact they all pitied me because I didn't have a date but I couldn't figure out why. I never intended to go with a date and there wasn't anyone in particular I wanted to go with anyway. The questions and comments only intensify as I get older, especially in the culture I live in where it is extremely uncommon to not have a boyfriend, especially once you are 18. Then come the assumptions
"But you're so pretty though." As if I don't have a boyfriend because I'm not pretty enough to have one. Some people assume I don't have a boyfriend because I am working on myself. This is only half true. Yes, I am working on myself, and yes, I am focusing on my relationship with God. However, I would still work on myself and my relationship with God if I was in a romantic relationship. You never reach a place in life where you no longer need to work on yourself and your relationship with God and I know people who are much less mature than me in many ways in my opinion yet are in relationships. Others assume I am too quiet and shy and not forward enough. Too "old-fashioned" I suppose. This could be true to an extent, since I come across as shy perhaps I am easily overlooked. However other guys have commented on how "pretty and drama-free" I am and some guys seem to prefer quieter girls. Then there are my best friends who I'm pretty sure think I am absolutely obnoxious so I don't really know. I guess the answer to the question is kind of circular. I don't have a boyfriend because I don't have a boyfriend. I tend to be focused on my goals and I don't have time to waste. I do have trouble finding guys that have the same values and  convictions as I do and I do suppose I don't stand out much. It's also not that I don't want a boyfriend. Some people have come to the conclusion I must simply not want one. I do think it would be nice to have a boyfriend, it is simply not something I pursue. My mom and I were recently discussing goals and 5 year plans. If you know me personally you know that I LOVE kids and have always wanted a family. My mom asked me if getting married was in my 5 year plan. I told her no, it is not. She was surprised by this. I simply explained that I won't make it a goal of mine because it doesn't entirely depend on me. I have standards I won't compromise on and it really depends on when God decides to bring the man I will marry into my life. There are good things that come from being married, there are good things that come from having a boyfriend, and there are good things that come from being single. I don't have a boyfriend. That is where I am in life right now. It's not because there is something wrong with me. It's not because I'm too much or not enough. It's not even because I just don't want one. I don't have a boyfriend because I don't have a boyfriend and guess what? My life is still fun! I hang out with friends, I participate in Bible studies, I spend time with my family and I have down time. I am absolutely thriving right now and my schedule is more open. Guess what else? If I did have a boyfriend I would still be thriving! It would just be different. Wherever you are in life right now you can still thrive. You are not the only one. If you have a boyfriend, good for you! If you don't, good for you! If you keep God at the center of your life you are exactly where God wants you to be and there is no better place to be :)
LOVE,
KENZIE